Post Written by our Member Jennifer
https://www.instagram.com/jennielouwho82/
For many years, the word "family" had such a different definition to me. I used it to describe those who were blood related to me, or those who were part of the family I married. I rarely talked to them outside of family gatherings. The words "I love you" were thrown around, but I never felt like they were actually meant. This feeling was reiterated in April 2012 after my mother died unexpectedly. My "family" said they would would always be there for me and support me, yet they were never actually available or supportive when I needed them.
I fully admit after my mother died, I stopped celebrating Mother's Day. I felt that because I had no mother, I no longer had a reason to celebrate. Logically, I knew that i still had plenty of reasons to celebrate. Several of my friends were mothers, my best friend Jennifer's mom had always been like a second mother to me... heck, I was a mother myself! However, in my heart, I just couldn't celebrate.
A little over a year ago, I started to see posts from my college friend Ashley. It had already been a tough year for me by that point and i was feeling incredibly lost and alone. I took a leap of faith and sent Ashley a message on Facebook regarding this group she kept posting about called The Villainettes. From the moment I sent that message, my life changed dramatically. I didn't just gain new friends, I gained a whole support system. I gained the one thing I had been searching for: a family. A family made up of women from all walks of life. Race, religion, sexual orientation, financial status, marital status, location... none of that matters. The only thing that matters is our love for each other. And we love each other fiercely. We support each other without question. And the bonds of this love are so strong they are not easily broken. It is an unconditional love.
As with any family, there is one thing in common: the matriarch. The head of the family. The glue that holds the family together. The Villainettes are blessed to have not one but two matriarchs. How cool is that?! Our founder Sally (aka Momma V) and our ambassador Zara are the glue that holds this sisterhood/family together. While tending to their own families, careers, and lives, they still make time to see that each and every sister is taken care of. It doesn't matter how busy their lives are, they are just a text message or phone call away. For someone that doesn't have an extensive support system, they provide the mother figure that some of us don't have. And for those sisters who do have an extensive support system, Momm
a V and Zara, as well as the other sisters, give us that extra bit of loving that we didn't know we needed.
Today is Mother's Day in the United States as well as several other countries. This is the day that we celebrate the woman who gave birth to us or who raised us. This is the first year in six years that i have celebrated. This year, I choose to celebrate my sisters. To Momma V and Zara, i thank you for the times you have walked with me when the darkness has set in. Your trust, patience, and guidance has brought me back to the light when I thought my candle had burnt out. Without the two of you and this amazing sisterhood you have created, I wouldn't be the strong, independent woman I am today. For all my sisters out there... I celebrate you. Whether you have given birth to child or not does not matter to me... you are all mothers in my eyes. I know many of you struggle to feel like you are making a difference. Trust me when I say you are. Your love, support, and willingness to listen make someone's day whether you believe it or not. If there was one I have learned over the last year in this sisterhood, it is this: family isn't always blood. Sometimes you get to choose your own family. I'm thankful to call The Villainettes my chosen family. Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers in my life and across the world!